Would you believe me if told you that every time someone leaves a one-star review, an author keels over? No?

Okay, then. The truth: internet reviews and ratings are a major part of the “word of mouth” book buzz readers once found via publication reviews and libraries. They give bookstores, editors, and potential readers an idea of how well a book is being received by the public, often influencing sales and promotion attempts.

You’ve just finished reading a novel. (For the sake of random and totally unbiased argument, let’s say it’s one of mine.) You

1. love, love, love it;

2. can’t imagine how anyone on Earth could love, love, love it;

3. think the author needs serious help.

You want to review this book online because

1. everyone should read it – it’s THAT good;

2. nobody should read it – no person’s karma can be THAT bad;

3. the author needs serious help.

There’s no doubt that customer reviews are influential. But if I had a chance to review the reviews, I’d say that some are better than others, and it has little to do with whether or not the reviewer liked the book.

Here’s my subjective list of a few approaches to avoid when writing an online review:

“This book was boring.” Details, please. Which aspect of this book didn’t interest you? Sometimes the type of book one reader finds dull is exactly the sort another reader enjoys.

“I liked the story, but I gave the book one star because it is morally offensive.” Different issues offend different readers. It’s helpful to be honest about your own sensibilities right up front: “This book made me uncomfortable because I believe that dabbling in the supernatural is blasphemous.” (Yes, that criticism has been applied to my books.) In a world where low ratings can hurt sales, please don’t give a competent novel an overall poor review on the sole basis that parts of it didn’t jibe with your personal beliefs.

“I liked this book right up until (MAJOR PLOT REVEAL THAT MAKES IT UNNECESSARY TO READ THE BOOK).” Please. I’m crying, here. Please, please don’t give away plot twists that took authors hours and hours to create, plot twists we hoped would raise the story to the next level, plot twists that … please, don’t.

“The characters in this book were written by someone with an emotional IQ of three.” Try to remember that a real person wrote this book. Don’t be mean. In a related vein, please don’t sacrifice kindness in an attempt to be funny. Okay, maybe the author DOES have an emotional IQ of three, but can you think of a more constructive way to get your point across, something less personal and more related to the story itself?

“This book was just a beach read, not worth my time.” Try to remember that the review is about the book, not how erudite the reader is. Some readers LIKE beach reads.

So, what’s a reviewer to do? Glad you asked.

In my opinion, the best – and most credible – reviews allow readers to draw their own conclusions about whether or not they might like a particular book. The reviewer does this by focusing on the book itself: did the plot keep you turning pages? Were the characters interesting? If something didn’t work for you in the story, why didn’t it? Would this novel maybe appeal to a certain kind of reader? Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

It’s interesting to note that positive reviews can come with their own pitfalls. There are readers who doubt the validity of every five-star review, suspecting that they’ve been written by relatives of the author, friends, or scam pay-for-positive-reviews services (oh, yes there are). Those readers prefer to choose their books based on information gleaned from bad reviews, figuring that at least those comments are honest. And, as mentioned earlier, one person’s poison can be another’s feast.

P.S. This essay is a revision of one I wrote many years ago, before my novel Newport was published…and before it received a one-star review because Kindle didn’t download properly. (It made me laugh, but in a dark, desperate sort of way.)

So, remember: however you feel about that book you plan to review, the power is yours …wield it wisely!

And keep reading!