I am a pen nerd. From fountain to gel to fine-point Sharpie, I love them all (with the exception of ballpoint, but with so many other choices it’s good to have a limit to my enthusiasm). Since I’m currently writing the rough draft of this post with a sea green Pilot Precise V7, it should come as no surprise that I’m always on the prowl for interesting ink colors … which explains why I couldn’t help myself when I found these:

Twenty-four different colors (although two different yellows and one barely-there orange don’t count, because what’s the point of ink you can’t see?)! Extra-fine point! Less than .75 cents a pen! I scooped them up without a second thought.

They haven’t disappointed. They’re fun to use. But now that I’ve had the opportunity to study them more closely, I can see that their colors were named by someone either with different color concepts from mine or for whom English is not a first language. There’s Ruddy Pink, which is as languid and pale as a pink can be without disappearing, despite the fact that “ruddy” means “red.” There’s Magenta, which would make sense if the ink was not obviously brown. There’s Grass Green, which my eye insists is Olive. There’s Moss Green, which looks like it belongs next to Magenta on the pen color wheel.

Don’t get me wrong. I love these colors. I just don’t understand them.

This got me thinking about the Crayola crayon colors I remember growing up. Maize, Raw Umber, Violet Blue … I loved those guys. But according to Crayola.com, those colors were retired in 1990 along with Blue Gray, Green Blue, Lemon Yellow, Orange Red, and Orange Yellow. They were replaced by colors with snazzier names: Cerulean, Dandelion, Fuschia, Jungle Green, Royal Purple, Teal Blue, Vivid Tangerine, and Wild Strawberry. (Don’t worry about the older colors – they’re enjoying a cushy retirement in the Crayola Hall of Fame.)

At least I can visualize those new 1990 colors. I don’t do as well with some of the colors added later. Exactly what color IS “Inchworm” (introduced in 2003)? My mind’s eye does better with more recent colors like Macaroni and Cheese, Mango Tango, Outer Space, and Purple Mountains’ Majesty.

There are different reasons why certain Crayola colors are retired. Crayola started making crayons in 1903, after all. Back then, maybe it was easier to envision colors like Permanent Geranium Lake (seems like a lot to print on the side of a crayon), Chrome Green (which came in Light and Medium), and Van Dyke Brown (huh?). Sometimes, a color gets booted after fans vote it out of the box to make room for a new one (which sounds like a reality show to me). Some colors stay on and are simply renamed. Prussian Blue became the first renamed color in 1958, changing to Midnight Blue after teachers pointed out that their students no longer related to Prussia. The color Flesh became Peach in 1962, reflecting Crayola’s recognition that not all skin tones are the same.

Crayola has created over 400 colors over the years. There’s a shade for every mood, and many of them come in neon and glitter versions. Despite this huge selection, past surveys indicate that the favorite Crayola color is … blue.

Consumers can get involved with naming new colors through various promotions. If the thought of this stirs your creative juices, check in at Crayola.com now and then.

Or you can just contact the people who made my pens. They could probably use the help.