The parking lot in front of my local Trader Joe’s is always a bumper-car mess. It’s easier to drive past it to park on one of the mall’s parking decks. From there it’s a quick walk through the inside of the mall, finished by ducking outside again to access the grocery store entrance.
The mall was more crowded than usual when I walked in. (I’m never quite sure how the stores in this place stay in business.) But busy or not, it was easy to spot a little girl of maybe two or three a short distance away to my right, holding onto her grandmother’s hand as she walked. She moved with that determined little march kids have when they realize how well they can navigate on two feet. But when I stopped to adjust my purse strap, I realized that her march had a set destination: me.
The little girl kept her eyes on me as she weaved through shoppers to come closer. She never stopped moving. Without a word, she grasped my hand and kept walking, not missing a beat. “Hello,” I said, falling into step beside her. The grandmother cleared her throat, at an uncomfortable loss for words. “I don’t mind,” I told her. “I’m heading to Trader Joe’s anyway.”
“We’re going to the parking lot,” the grandmother replied, clearly relieved that there would be a natural ending to this odd encounter.
The child stared at me as we walked hand-in-hand past stores, never loosening her grip or changing the solemn expression on her face. I imagine we looked a little silly walking as a linked threesome through the mall, but I didn’t see any reason to disengage.
“Thank you for the walk,” I told the little girl when we reached the doors to outside. “I’m going to the grocery store, now. I hope you have a very nice day.”
She let go of my hand. I waved. She waved back. Then we turned in opposite directions and left.
Never mind the cuteness factor; I appreciated the human contact. I don’t get enough of that these days.
I like face-to-face interactions with people, and those experiences are getting harder to find. I avoid self-checkouts in stores whenever I can, even though standing in line for the one or two checkout lanes still manned by real people means a longer wait. That’s okay. How else would I hear about the cashier’s surprise eightieth birthday party (and be impressed by the fact that this square-dancing grandmama is decades older than I thought she was). There’s no other way to meet the young man who knows so much about jazz, classic rock, and whiskey and who always lightens my day with a seemingly sincere compliment. And where else would I find the gentleman whose curmudgeonly comments reveal more about his interesting past than he realizes? Getting in and out of a place as quickly as possible is seldom my goal.
I don’t like crowds (and my definition of “crowd” has a low threshold), but I do appreciate opportunities for exchanges with people who … well, aren’t me. How do we learn to appreciate other people if we obliterate our chances to deal with them in everyday life? Online communication isn’t enough.
Kids need that human connection, too. I’m not sure what this says about me, but I still have fond memories of childhood lollipops from bank tellers who weren’t ATMs and book recommendations from librarians who either checked out my new stack of books or checked in the ones I returned. I remember the reminders to say good morning, please, thank-you.
My little friend’s grasp reminded me that despite a barrage of internet/text messages and the convenience of breezing more quickly through automated errands, something inside us still longs to just reach out and grab someone’s hand. We haven’t evolved beyond an innate need for physical human contact.
I hope we never do.
Time perhaps to convert your blog to an at home get together of like minded friends to share not just words on a page but smiles and frowns, laughs and tears. And, hugs when they arrive and depart…
I love this so much!!! Both your story and where you went with it.
I miss checking out books at the library desk! I’m sure it’s more efficient with the budget and maybe they buy more books with the savings and have better outreach or whatever, but I really, really miss that. I remember those interactions as a kid, even, some of my earliest interactions with grown-ups were at a circulation desk. It’s not like I had my own money to buy things, after all. But I could push a big stack of books and my library card across a counter, all by myself.
Back at you, Jill, big-time. My mom, for as long as I can remember, was a serial offender in this regard, regularly mortifying our little soft-shell ego selves by striking up amiable conversations with tellers, cashiers and service-staff of every stripe. I later picked up the habit and regularly inflicted the same on our three when they were too young to get away. 🙂 The auto-serve revolution puts a big (and not particularly helpful or benign) kink in that layer of social contact, I reckon.
Thank you for this touching reminder that there’s no substitute for the personal interactions, random or otherwise. Beautifully written and very much appreciated!
Ben, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thank you!
There’s a chance that the auto-serve kink has been welcomed by more kids than we like to think!
Kristina, I still remember the library fondly as well, not only as a kid, but as a real source of social contact for my mom. I think she looked forward to her interactions with the “library ladies.” She always knew more about them than which books they liked.
Joe, that’s always a possibility!