The night mind is the worst. Awakened from sleep, it gets its revenge by inflating every issue it can find. Unfinished concerns from daylight hours are dealt the worst possible outcomes. Problems become insurmountable. The night mind takes loose ends and ties them into knots.
Who can sleep with all this worrying going on?
It’s easy to see why anxiety runs rampant at night. Darkness shrouds way too much. Even familiar tangible objects appear grotesque and unrecognizable. There are physical reasons for the angst, too. Fluctuating cortisol levels, a sleepy pre-frontal cortex, and an unfiltered amygdala all conspire against us. Additionally, the middle-of-the-night brain is freed from busy distractions. It isn’t processing the information load that keeps it occupied during the day. Schedules, tasks, constant planning … all gone, leaving a void that anxiety is only too happy to flood.
For some reason, reading about this reminded me of life transitions. (Maybe this is because lately, EVERYTHING reminds me of life transitions.) Most of the major transitions we experience occupy our brains with new information. They spark busy-ness. We leave home for new places, begin new jobs, launch new ventures. We build relationships, raise children. All of this expands our minds, requires planning and engagement. But there comes a point where the transitions in our lives shift from “filling” to “emptying.” Once-new places are now familiar. Children leave home to begin their own adventures. Relationships end. Retirement takes away deadlines and the immediate need to problem-solve. There are spaces where there used to be purpose, which is a perfect invitation to the brain to kick into that default mode that fills voids with anxiety. It can feel like Night Mind 24/7.
Night mind and life transitions may not be related. But they seem to share the scary, uncomfortable root that we lack control over what comes next while careening toward the unknown.
What do you do when night-mind feels never-ending? I’d love to hear input from readers, either in the comments section of this post or via email. How do you handle either garden-variety night mind or Night-Mind 24/7?
I recently read an article about sleep issues, including the racing mind that is your night mind. It talked about how this is a symptom of the body needing to feel safe but not finding or recognizing that it is in a place of safety.
From a friend who writes about issues of anxiety, I learned a technique for calming oneself by slow breathing, consciously looking around yourself, and specifically reassuring yourself that you are safe in the moment. This has helped me quiet that ever-present night mind.
~Sherry
I imagine everybody’s different with this one, Jill. In my years of maximum stress, literal nightmares were a recurring relief-valve. Awkward (!) to experience, but ultimately lowering the psychic temperature. Usually. Latterly I find I just have to stare the little buggers down. Not manically, just taking as calm an inventory as I can of why this or that sucks and what (if anything) I can do about it. Tomorrow. I think my Taurean inertia/phlegmatism helps a little there.
Sherry, that’s a helpful technique. It’s also a very grounding one. Remembering to stay in a particular moment at the very least corrals the rampant fears. Thanks for sharing!
Robert, I think the key word here is “tomorrow.” Knowing that nothing can be done NOW helps. But … nightmares as a relief-valve? Wow. For me, that would probably be throwing gasoline on a fire!
🙂 I’m not saying the nightmares were any fun. More like ripping a bandage off quickly to get it over with.
I used to put a little black box beside my bed and imagine putting my worries into it for the night. They wouldn’t be forgotten but they didn’t need to be in my head.
I like that idea, Elizabeth.
The trend I’m seeing is to somehow compartmentalize the worries with the promise of dealing with them at a later time. Corralling them may be a problem, but having a place for them to go is a good start!
Strangely I too have been having more and more episodes of Night Mind. I dont seem to feel anxious about anything consciously when going to bed, but wow, sometimes it all comes roaring to the surface before I can fall asleep. I pray, “casting all my cares on Him who cares for me” but when my dratted Night Mind INSISTS on playing God with my thoughts, I have to just get up go to the couch and turn on the lights, seeing my surroundings as Sherry mentioned, deliberately centering myself in the here and now. Sometimes light reading helps as well. Ill be thinking of you all the next time it happens!
Karen, it helps me when I tell myself that I CAN get up and do something else if I want to, but I haven’t done that yet. I’m also noticing that even though Night Mind focuses on very real issues, it can also make a big deal out of something trivial, like the fact that I SHOULD have watered the plants that night or haven’t put a wash in. Silly stuff side-by-side with Very Big Deals.
Deliberately centering myself in the here and now is definitely the goal. Or maybe we should just plan a get-together in the wee hours, since we’re all awake anyway.